Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
