i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
