Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
