dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What drink are we having for lunch?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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