we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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