We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
