Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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