don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
