gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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