I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
