You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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