I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
