week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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