i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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