I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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