if you like me you must not know who I am
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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