Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
