okay pat passed out under dana's car
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
