I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
