is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
