So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
