): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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