His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You need a sexual gate keeper
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
