I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
