Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
