he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
