I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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