wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
