I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
