What did we do last night that was yellow?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
