Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
