You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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