hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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