im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
