I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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