Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
