Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
