Got a toothbrush?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm bleeding and have questions
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm always down for nudity.
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