i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i came on her dog
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
