was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
