also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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