We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
