Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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