im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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