I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
