: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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