Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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