For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
