I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
