I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
