we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
