farters have to be the big spoon...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
